he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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