I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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