thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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