It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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