ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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