Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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