I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
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Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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