i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
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My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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