She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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