You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
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I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
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Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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