Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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