I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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