I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize