Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize