Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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