I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
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Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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