and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
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He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
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Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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