I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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