there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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