I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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