I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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