Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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