Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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