I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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