Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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