He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize