my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
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I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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