You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize