i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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