We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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