Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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