I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize