im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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