It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
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There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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