Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
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30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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