Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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