You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize