please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
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He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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