I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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