the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize