just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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