he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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