ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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