Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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