I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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