I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize