I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
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So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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