a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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