What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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