she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
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somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
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Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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